


happily tamed

by The_Werewolf_of_Bauhaus



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Developing Relationship, Eventual Romance, F/M, Jaken is salty, Kaede is like 'idk are you sure he's your guy? seems pretty sus to me.', Mostly Rin POV, Older Rin, Post-Canon, Rin missed her calling as a J-Pop idol by being born in the feudal era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:27:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27705517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Werewolf_of_Bauhaus/pseuds/The_Werewolf_of_Bauhaus
Summary: Sesshoumaru thought that Rin was being happily tamed.Fully reintegrated into human society, she appeared (relatively) safe from harm, excelling at her occupation and content with his occasional visits.Rin, however, thinks she's only been biding her time until she could be back by his side forever.
Relationships: Rin/Sesshoumaru (InuYasha)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 71





	1. as your silver hair hangs

Rin braced herself against the chilly fall air as she headed in the direction of home. A blood-stained apron was clutched in her hand—they’d almost lost the mother. It wouldn’t be the first time and the rare but real threat of the death that hung over every delivery was definitely her least favorite part of the job.

  
  


Kaede-sama had stayed behind to further tend to the new mother and had sent Rin ahead to prepare dinner. She reached the house, entering and hung up the apron. She could probably still get the stain out if she boiled it in hot water immediately but there wasn’t enough daylight left for that. Instead she got right to work preparing a soup for her and Kaede’s evening meal. While it was cooking in the pot she took out her _shime-daiko_ and her bachi. It had become a habit of hers for when she felt fidgety or impatient. Tapping out precise rhythmic patterns, recalling the tempo and pitch from memory, humming along, stringing words together to match the beat of the sounds she was creating; it focused her attention and took her mind off any unpleasant things it might drift toward.

  
  


The drum had been the only one of Sesshoumaru-sama’s gifts she had specifically requested. It had quickly become her favorite possession but the beat of a shime-daiko unfortunately drove Kaede-sama crazy. Meaning that Rin could usually only indulge in her musical hobby when the miko was out of the house, though the older woman occasionally expressed a desire to listen to her playing, if only to keep up with her progress. Rin had considered asking Sesshoumaru-sama for a stringed instrument; perhaps a koto or a biwa—something less offensive to Kaede-sama’s ears. She’d refrained though. She hated the idea of taking advantage of the daiyokai’s generosity. Not to mention that his gifts were already a source of jealousy among the people of the village. Had been for as long as she’d lived there, in fact.

  
  


Rin’s nose caught the scent of something burning. _The soup!_

She scrambled forward on her knees and hurried to put out the flame under the cooking pot. She stirred a spoon around the thick liquid, grimacing. As she was chiding herself for her distractibility, Kaede-sama appeared through the entrance of the house.

  
  


Rin greeted the miko, “Welcome back, Kaede-sama.” She was about to apologize to Kaede-sama for ruining dinner when the older woman spoke.

  
  


“Rin, I just ran into Inuyasha. He says that Sesshoumaru is on his way here.”

  
  


The young woman’s face lit up. “Really? Is he sure?”

  
  


The miko nodded. “He seemed so. He said Sesshoumaru’s scent is close by and he believes he and his little servant will arrive shortly.”

  
  


Rin hopped up excitedly. She ran to the entrance of the house, hanging in the doorway and looking up towards the sky.

  
  


“Rin,” Kaede said, “you shouldn’t expect him already. I just told you he was coming.”

  
  


Rin blushed at her impulsiveness. “I know,” she said, putting a hand behind her head and chuckling awkwardly. “Just checking.”

  
  


She turned back into the house and kneeled in front of Kaede, who was already spooning some of the soup into a bowl for herself. Nervously, Rin watched as the woman took a sip from the bowl. The miko’s expression immediately betrayed her distaste, her eye’s widening and then flitting downward at the substance in the dish.

  
  


“That bad, huh,” Rin said sheepishly. “Gomen-nasai, Kaede-sama, I got distracted and let it overheat.”

  
  


“Working on your music, were you?” Kaede eyed the shime-daiko at Rin’s side.

  
  


“Why don’t you play it for me while I eat,” Kaede suggested. She glanced at the bowl in her hand, “It might take my mind off—” she stopped and rephrased herself, “It might be nice to enjoy some dinnertime music.”

  
  


Rin ignored the slight on her culinary skills; even more eager for a willing audience. She pulled the shime-daiko in front of her. “Would you like to hear a new song I’ve been writing?”

  
  


“Go ahead,” Kaede-sama told her.

  
  


She picked up her bachi and started to strike out the rhythm and the accompanying lyrics she’d gotten so lost in earlier.

  
  


“As your silver hair hangs, speak it

Oh, will you forget me ne’er?

I hold a line of crimson twine

As you do too, everyday

  
  


For all time, you’re my lasting sign

In the wood and in the air

I find it in your golden eyes

For a second, along the way—”

  
  


Kaede’s expression had remained neutral during her song. However, as Rin put her bachi down and pushed the drum aside it turned to a more pensive look. Had she not liked it? Rin admitted to herself that the lyrics still might need some polishing.

  
  


“It still needs some work,” she said to Kaede-sama. “Obviously it’s not finished but that’s what I have so far.”

  
  


“I will admit; I’ve preferred your other compositions," Kaede admitted. "That song you wrote about running barefoot through a flower field. I’d like to hear more nice, wholesome songs like that,” she offered.

  
  


“Wholesome?” Rin wondered aloud. What she’d sang had seemed perfectly wholesome to her. “I can’t always sing about the same things all the time,” she said, “my lyrics depend on where my inspiration comes from.”

  
  


“You seem to have only _one_ inspiration these days, child,” the miko said and Rin wasn’t sure if she merely imagined the tone of disapproval. Her thought was interrupted by the sound of a familiar voice from outside.

  
  


“Rin!” Jaken’s voice called out. “Come outside and present yourself to your lord, Sesshoumaru-sama!”

  
  


“They’re here!” Rin cried, standing up and dashing outside to meet their two visitors.

  
  


“Sesshoumaru-sama! Jaken-sama!” She greeted them happily. She knelt down to wrap her arms around the imp, causing him to sputter in an annoyance she knew to be exaggerated. Lest anyone really believe he was pleased to receive affection from a human girl.

  
  


“Rin, Mind your kimono!" he loudly chided her. "Don’t kneel down in the dirt like that! When Sesshoumaru-sama gifts you a possession you are to treat it with proper respect!” Waving his arm out to scold her, she noticed that he held an object wrapped in cloth. Putting her curiosity aside for the moment, she turned to address the imposing figure standing several feet away.

  
  


“Kaede-sama told me Inuyasha-sama sensed you were coming today. Did you happen to see him on your way here?”

  
  


Her lord didn’t respond to the question. He rarely, if ever, wanted to discuss his brother. A cold gust of wind blew past them, whipping Rin’s hair up and over her face. She brushed it out of the way and then brought her arms around her body, shivering from the chilly air.

  
  


“If you’re cold, we should go inside,” Sesshoumaru said.

  
  


“It’s not that cold,” Rin said, the slight chatter of her teeth betraying her. She noticed a strand of hair had gotten caught in her eye when the wind had tossed it around. She tried to get it out, attempting to pinch it between her fingers but it remained stubbornly stuck in her eyelid. Sesshoumaru’s hand reached out, making contact with her face and Rin tried not to jolt from the sensation of his skin touching hers. With a tiny flick of his claw, the strand was out.

  
  


“Thank you,” she said, warmth blooming in her chest.

  
  


“Go inside,” Sesshoumaru told her. “Jaken has a gift for you.”

  
  


“We don’t have to go inside,” she insisted. “Really, it’s not that cold.” Rin was grateful to Kaede-sama for all the woman had done for her, she really was. In the past couple years though, she’d come to resent her constant presence during her visits with Sesshoumaru-sama. It made her feel like she was being chaperoned and she wished to be given the chance to speak with her lord away from the miko’s supervision. Or _anyone's_ , for that matter.

  
  


Reluctantly, she followed her two guests into the house. Kaede greeted them and Sesshoumaru sat down against the wall. “Jaken,” he bid, “show Rin what we have brought for her.”

  
  


Rin kneeled on the floor as the green yokai presented her with her gift. She gasped as the cloth packaging was removed, revealing the exact thing she hoped for earlier. The koto was beautiful. Well-crafted and sparkling with the promise of new musical possibilities.

  
  


“Oh, Jaken-sama, it’s gorgeous!” Rin threw her arms around him. The embrace was also by proxy for her lord, as he was untouchable except for _very_ special occasions in which she was in, or had been in mortal danger. Or had hair caught in her eye.

Jaken, again, protested effusively at being hugged even though she suspected he really didn't mind as much as he wanted her to _think_ he did.

  
  


“Thank you, Jaken-sama, and thank you, Sesshoumaru-sama.”

  
  


He gave a slight nod of acknowledgement. “It is what you wanted, is it not?”

  
  


“Yes,” Rin said and then laughed. “I guess I dropped enough hints, didn’t I?”

  
  


Jaken threw his head back imperiously and crossed his arms. “Of course, Rin, you should know nothing gets past Sesshoumaru-sama. Our lord’s intuition is second to none!” He clamped his staff down on the floor for emphasis.

  
  


“Rin, there’s something else there,” Sesshoumaru pointed out.

  
  


Rin looked again at her gift and noticed that, along with the koto, there was a book. She picked it up and flipped through the pages. Her face lit up when she saw the illustrations.

  
  


“An instruction manual!”

  
  


“As usual, Sesshoumaru-sama thinks of everything!” Jaken proclaimed. Turning to the daiyokai, he bowed his head. “Well done, my lord.”

  
  


“Thank you again, Sesshoumaru-sama,” Rin said.

  
  


Rin passed her fingers over the koto, feeling the wood and the strings and admiring the craftsmanship. “I can’t wait to try it out,” she said, plucking a string experimentally.

  
  


Remembering the shime-daiko, she pulled it in front of her and picked up her bachi. “I’ve been practicing on the drum you gave me. Would you like to hear?”

  
  


“Play if you would like,” the daiyokai said.

  
  


“I was just working on a song today,” she said. “Maybe you could listen to it and tell me what you think.”

  
  


Kaede, sitting between them, raised an eyebrow. “Rin, are you going to play the song that you sang earlier, before Sesshoumaru and Jaken arrived?”

  
  


“Yes, why?” Was there a problem with that? She wondered. Was it because it wasn’t ‘wholesome?’ Whatever _that_ meant.

  
  


The miko put her bowl down. “Here’s a suggestion,” she said to Rin, “why don’t you perform one of those sutra’s Miroku taught you; the ones that you set to music?”

  
  


Sesshoumaru interjected, “I think Rin should play whatever she feels like.”

  
  


“”Well I would prefer to hear a sutra,” said Kaede.

  
  


Rin looked back and forth between her current and former guardians, unsure. She felt like there was something going she wasn’t privy to, yet she’d been present for the pairs every interaction since her lord had arrived.

  
  


“It is Kaede-sama’s house,” she decided, “so I guess I’ll go with her preference.”

  
  


“Now, Rin, this is your house too,” Kaede assured her. “But play the sutra.”

  
  


Rin summoned as much enthusiasm as she could muster as she began to play. Sutra’s were so boring. Still, she wanted to impress Sesshoumaru-sama. Her ability had greatly improved since his last visit. She couldn’t waste any moment she had his attention. Gauging his reaction was difficult. His face blissfully neutral as always. Hopefully she was making an impression.

  
  


“Very good, Rin, “ Kaede said after she finished, “that was lovely.”

  
  


The woman’s gaze turned briefly to Sesshoumaru and then back to Rin. “Rin, why don’t you head down to Inuyasha and Kagome’s house. They should be having dinner right now. Go tell them I sent you over and join them.”

  
  


“But I already made dinner,” Rin protested. The cooking pot in the middle of the room was still nearly full.

  
  


“Trust me, you don’t want to eat that,” Kaede said dryly.

  
  


“I—” the young woman began to say.

  
  


“You should listen to Kaede,” Sesshoumaru said.

  
  


Rin eyed the two suspiciously, frowning. “Why do you both want me out of the house?”

  
  


“Child, there are matters I wish to speak to Sesshoumaru about,” Kaede said. “Don’t worry, he will still be here when you get back.”

  
  


Rin had suddenly become aware of a loop she had been left out of. “You want me to leave so you can talk about _me_ don’t you?”

  
  


Whatever the two of them wanted to discuss, whether it had anything to do with her or not, they could discuss it in front of her. She wasn’t a child anymore and there was no reason she should be excluded from adult conversations. A mixture of anxiety and annoyance crept up on her. And clearly what they wanted to talk about, _was_ her. She was the only thing the humanity-averse daiyokai and the elderly miko had in common.

  
  


“Rin,” Kaede said, “please, put on an old kimono so you won’t get cold and head on over to Kagome’s house.”

  
  


Rin threw a pleading look to Sesshoumaru. Surely, he wouldn’t allow her to be left out? But her lord merely regarded her stoically.

  
  


“Rin, just this once,” the yokai assured her, “and we won’t ask this of you again.”

  
  


“Rin!” Jaken’s voice commanded. “You will respect Sesshoumaru-sama’s wishes and do as he says!”

  
  


“Jaken.” Startled, the imp jumped back and clutched his staff, afraid he was going to be reprimanded by his master. Instead, Sesshoumaru said, “Go with her.”

  
  


It was three to one, Rin thought. Outnumbered, Rin let out a terse “Fine” and went to the chest at the far wall to fish out one of her old kimonos. She pulled it on and didn’t spare a glance back at Kaede and Sesshomaru as she exited the house, Jaken on her heels.

  
  


Out under the rapidly darkening sky, she tried to calm her frustration.

  
  


Let them talk. Let them have their little talk.

  
  


Her time would come. Soon she’d get the choice to leave and she would take it.

Rin's mind took off in a flight of fancy. She pictured herself, her legs swung over A-Un's saddle as they soared through the sky, a bouquet of morning glories in her arms. A part of Sesshoumaru-sama's world once more; never to be abandoned again. Yes, her glorious return was imminent, she thought.

Having convinced herself that everything was actually proceeding as she had foreseen (Team Sesshoumaru: Back together at last! Get your tickets now!) she felt a sudden burst of self-confidence. Sprinting up the path to the village, she jumped in the air, yelled “Look out world, here comes Rin-chan” and pumped her fist to the sky.

  
  


“What a weird girl,” came Jaken's exasperated voice from behind her.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of the lines in Rin's song ('As your silver hair hangs' 'As you do too, everyday' 'you're my lasting sign') are from "Oh Yeah" by Can.


	2. mousetrap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long to come out. I don't really have a good excuse, just procrastination on my part. Hopefully, the next chapter won't take as long to come out.

“She smelled like blood,” Sesshoumaru said. With Rin and Jaken out of the house, he and Kaede had gotten down to business.

  
  


“Not her blood but someone else’s.” He recalled the foreign, metallic odor that hung about her person.

  
  


“Rin is a midwife-in-training,” the miko reminded him, “she’s going to come home smelling like blood sometimes."

  
  


“I’m aware of that,” he said. His heightened, inuyokai sense of smell made him hyper-aware of even the slightest changes to the girl's scent but he’d gotten used to the subtle difference her work inevitably caused. “I brought it up because it was particularly...pungent today.”

  
  


Kaede courageously finished off the remainder of her soup and put the bowl away to be cleaned later. Kneeling back down she looked at Sesshoumaru. “It was a difficult delivery and we nearly lost the mother. I don’t know how it is for yokai but human childbirth can be fraught, unfortunately. It wouldn’t have been the first time since Rin has been assisting me that the mother didn’t make it.”

  
  


Sesshoumaru declined to respond with any insights into yokai childbirth. Instead he asked, “Do you think Rin disturbed by that?”

  
  


“It’s not always easy to tell with that child,” Kaede said, thoughtfully. “You’d never guess that she’s seen the things she’s seen.”

  
  


The daiyokai couldn’t argue with that.

  
  


“I do find her uniquely qualified for the job,” Kaede remarked. “Rin has a very strong stomach.”

  
  


“So you would say she’s good at her profession? This is something she could rely on for her future?”

  
  


“Indeed,” Kaede said, “I do believe she’ll make a very fine midwife one day. I have the utmost confidence in her. Even if she never marries, I have no doubt Rin would have no trouble supporting herself. Now, about marriage—”

  
  


The miko talked about Rin’s prospects and went through a laundry list of her advantages in attracting a potential husband. She had a respectable occupation that would keep her in the good graces of the community, more than adequate life skills (cooking not among them), and a fine reputation, among other things.

  
  


“And you believe this is what’s best for her?”

  
  


Kaede nodded. “To marry a good man who will be able to provide for her. Assuming we’re able to find such a man? Yes.” She spoke with steely resolve. “It’s the normal life that she deserves. A continuation of the life she’s been building ever since she came to live in this village.”

  
  


Her eye’s narrowed a bit. “However, Sesshoumaru, there is a crucial thing that could deeply impact any chance of Rin finding stability through a marriage, one that I’m afraid would require a fundamental change in your relationship with her.”

  
  


The daiyokai had a feeling he knew where Kaede was going with this even before she said anything. He’d been expecting it, surprised it hadn’t come up sooner.

  
  


“Any potential spouse of Rin’s would most likely be unwilling to accept your continued presence in her life. To have a male yokai—one to whom his wife is extremely devoted—visiting her, bringing her gift’s. It would be seen as improper and it’s hard to imagine a man being willing to put up with it.”

  
  


“So, you wish for me to abandon her?” 

  
  


“I said no such thing,” Kaede replied.

  
  


“What alternative do you suggest?” Sesshoumaru put his arm on his knee and rested his chin on the back of his hand. “Even if I were to become an anonymous benefactor, would that not still arouse…” What was it Kaede thought a man would not be willing to put up with? Jealousy? A lack of assumed ownership of his wife? Or dependence from her? “Suspicion.”

  
  


Kaede sighed. “Rin’s situation is...unorthodox, and that’s not going to change even if neither of you ever saw each other again. It is my hope that in this village, people have become so used to oddities involving yokai that it would lead them to be more... _accommodating_ of certain things. But the fact is, Sesshoumaru, even if you were a human, a husband would not want his wife to have a close relationship with an unrelated man."

The old miko seemed to pierce him with her one good eye, she stared so determinedly.

"Things would have to change between you and Rin. There’s no getting around that.”

* * *

It was dark by the time Rin and Jaken left Kagome and Inuyasha’s house. Rin looked down at the tiny yokai walking beside her and had an idea.

  
  


“Jaken, I’ll race you back to the house!”

  
  


“Foolish girl!” he chastised. “Don’t run in the dark. You’ll break your ankle and you just know Sesshoumaru-sama will blame _me_ for it.”

  
  


“Ah, come on, it’ll be fun.”

  
  


“And besides,” Jaken continued, ignoring her plea. “You need to start putting aside your childish games. You’re a grown woman now, Rin and it’s unbecoming of you.”

  
  


“Ha!” Rin exclaimed, “That’s exactly what someone who knows they’re going to lose would say!” With the gauntlet thrown down, she darted off in front of him.

  
  


Jaken sputtered. “It is not!”

  
  


“Then race me!” Rin called back to him. “Come one, 1, 2, 3: Go!”

  
  


“That’s not fair, you had a head start!” Jaken yelled, as he began struggling to catch up with her, insisting that he had _not_ agreed to a race and the result should not be counted against him.

  
  


“Stupid girl!” he shouted. “This sort of behavior is why Sesshoumaru-sama left you here in the first place!”

  
  


Rin felt her heart sink and she skidded to a halt, letting the yokai catch up to her. Swinging around to face him, she frowned. “That’s not true,” she challenged, “he left me here so I could learn to live with other humans again.” There was no reason for her to doubt that; Jaken-sama could complain about her personality all he wanted. “And besides,” she added, “I won’t be living in this village much longer. Once I’m allowed to decide for myself, I’ll be leaving with you and Sesshoumaru-sama again.” _Whether you like it or not._

  
  


“If that’s what you plan on doing, you’re going to have to start conducting yourself as a _proper lady_.”

  
  


“Why?” she asked, genuinely curious. “It never mattered before. Sesshoumaru-sama let me do whatever I wanted.”

  
  


“You were a child then; you’re a woman now. ” Jaken said. “If Sesshoumaru-sama is to have a lady following him around, one that could be mistaken for, ah, a _consort_ ,” he spoke carefully, “it would reflect badly on him for you to act like an uncontrollable brat.”

  
  


“Reflect badly to who?” There were few whose opinions her lord concerned himself with. As far as she witnessed, he did everything his own way and according his own judgment. If having a hapless human child in his entourage wasn’t too undignified for him, what was a hapless human adult? Then again, she thought, he _had_ left her in that village.

  
  


_For her own good_ , she reminded herself; only for her own good.

  
  


Jaken folded his arms across his chest. “You think if Sesshoumaru-sama takes you back, your life is going to be all fun and games—No responsibilities, no expectations—simply relying on our lord to drop everything and come save you whenever you get into trouble.”

  
  


“That’s _not_ what I think,” Rin said.

  
  


“Take it from this Jaken, Rin, that attitude is exactly why you’d make such a poor match for Sesshoumaru-sama. He needs someone who’s much closer to his own level, you see?” He glanced over to her shadowed figure, using his superior yokai sight to make sure she was paying attention. “Of course,” he amended, “no one could ever _truly_ be our lord’s equal but a man is still judged by the company he keeps.”

  
  


“If Sesshoumaru-sama only keeps around those who are up to his level, then why does he keep you around?”

  
  


Jaken sputtered, shaking his staff in offense. “I am a distinguished and powerful yokai!” he spat out. “Chosen by Sesshoumaru-sama himself to wield the Staff of Two Heads!”

  
  


“And anyway,” Rin said, “I still don’t know why it would matter if I’m a match for Sesshoumaru-sama or not.” _Wasn’t it you that told me I’d be long gone by the time Sesshoumaru-sama created his yokai empire?_ _Won’t I be long dead by the time he requires a powerful beauty to rule by his side?_ Couldn’t she just sneak in like a mouse under the floorboards, her short life spent at his feet, living off crumbs, her mortal body giving out before anyone even realized she’d been there at all?

  
  


“I mean, it’s not like I’m going to marry him,” she pointed out, turning her head away. She didn’t want Jaken seeing the faint blush that she felt on her cheeks. Hopefully, it was too dark for even his protruding eyes to catch.

  
  


“Well, of course not.”

  
  


_Baka_ , Rin thought. It was okay for _her_ to dismiss the idea so thoroughly. But the agreement of her lord’s most trusted confidant irked her.

  
  


“Let this Jaken explain some things to you, Rin. The Inu no Taisho’s wife, who was the human mother of Inuyasha, was a princess. And apparently, a great beauty—Or so I’ve heard.”

  
  


Rin’s ears pricked up; her curiosity aroused. _A princess_ , she thought. Her mind instantly went to the closest thing to a princess she’d ever met—Sesshoumaru-sama’s honored mother. Likely, Inuyasha’s mother was of her type, regal and glamorous.

  
  


“Not that yokai put too much stock in human nobility,” said the imp, dismissively. “However,” he conceded, “it should still come as no surprise that the only mortal woman who could catch the attention of the Great Dog General would be the _highest_ example of womanhood humankind had to offer.”

  
  


This detail of Inuyasha’s family was curious to Rin. She thought of the man, with his low-class speech and manners; his preference for going barefoot—like her. To think he was the product of a noblewoman. Smiling, she imagined him tearing around a palatial mansion, frustrating his attendants and scandalizing the court. She giggled out loud as Jaken side-eyed her.

  
  


“Even Inuyasha’s wife, I will admit, is most impressive for a mere human. She’s become a very powerful priestess and, well,” he patted his stomach appreciatively, “quite the cook.”

  
  


He let out a long sigh. “So you see Rin, if the hanyou Inuyasha has even managed to acquire a more respectable companion than his illustrious brother, well…”

  
  


Rin picked up a stick from the ground, twirling it around in her hand. Jaken, as usual, didn’t know when to quit. “No, it’s not good at all.” The imp clicked his tongue. “Don’t take this the wrong way Rin; the circumstances of your birth were no fault of your own. But even by the standards of your kind—you’re as low as it gets.”

  
  


A surprised squawk disturbed a few rabbits out of their hiding place. Rin tossed the stick she’d used to smack the green yokai upside the head and folded her arms behind her back. 

  
  


“Shut up, Jaken,” she said, in her best imitation of her lord.

  
  


“I don’t care what you say; none of that matters.” She reiterated her point from earlier, “Like I said—It’s not like I’m going to marry him.”

  
  


So what if she wasn’t a miko? Or a princess.

  
  


Rin knew how to survive; how to find her own food and keep up with the group and stay out of the way when she needed to. Those had been the requirements before; why should they change now?

  
  


Jaken was just being stupid.

  
  


Again; no changes to be detected.

  
  


When they approached Kaede’s house, Rin saw that Sesshoumaru was no longer inside. The daiyokai was perched on the roof, his silver and white figure starkly contrasting against the night sky. There was smoke coming from the chimney. With a renewed spring in her step, she followed the silver and smoke until the demon lord was mere feet above her eyes.

  
  


“Did you have fun gossiping about me?” Rin teased. Gripping the ladder adjacent to the home's wall, she began climbing up to join him.

  
  


“We talked about you behind your back too! _Really_ mean stuff. You should hear what Jaken-sama says about you when you’re not around!”

  
  


Jaken’s voice sputtered out from below them. “Sse-Sse-Sesshoumaru-sama, this Jaken did no such thing!”

  
  


“Is that so,” a cool voice responded. It was directed at Rin, as she stepped onto the roof and came to sit by her lord’s side.

  
  


“He was complaining about me too. He really doesn’t like either of us. We should probably get a better friend.”

  
  


“He _did_.” Sesshoumaru’s narrowed gaze landed on the imp, who hopped backward in fear.

  
  


Though Rin still wasn’t technically alone with Sesshoumaru, it was the closest she’d gotten since he arrived. Spying an unusual opportunity, the young woman scooted closer to him than she ever would in the presence of Kaede. It led to an increased urge to touch him that had her fiddling with her kimono and braiding the ends of her hair to keep her hands occupied.

  
  


“Do you like living in this village, Rin?” It wasn’t the first time he had asked her that, or some variation of it. She answered in the affirmative, giving her typical reply.

  
  


“So you wouldn’t mind remaining here indefinitely? You’re satisfied with this being your home?”

  
  


His words startled her; the response going straight to the pit of her stomach. _But what about choosing? What about choosing for herself?_ Her mind repeated the questions. Her cheeks heated up in the beginnings of a panic.

  
  


Her _choice_ ; the one true scrap of control she thought she’d had over her life. Sesshoumaru seemed to notice her change in demeanor and questioned her about it.

  
  


“Rin, you’ve been answering me honestly all this time? You’re happy here; you’ve been accepted by the villagers?”

  
  


Rin shook her head. “No—that was all true, it’s just...what you said…” Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow. “It makes it sound like I _have_ to stay here. When you first left me here, you and Kaede, you told me I could join you again one day. If that was what I wanted.”

  
  


“You don’t want to live with other humans?”

  
  


Was he daft? Rin had to immediately resist the urge to clamp her hands over her mouth, even though she hadn’t said those words out loud. Still, how could her lord not see what the actual problem was? It had been years since they’d traveled together, but did he really not know her at all?

  
  


“It’s not that I don’t _want_ to. But if I had a choice, I’d rather... _live_...with you.” She couldn’t make out his expression well in the dark, though given his stoic nature, it might not have revealed anything anyway.

  
  


“Kaede-sama didn’t tell you it was my wish to remain in the village, did she?” Rin felt badly about accusing the woman who had allowed her into her home. At the same time, she couldn’t help but feel that her lord must’ve been influenced by the pair's earlier conversation; the one she’d been deliberately excluded from.

  
  


“Kaede did not deem to speak for you,” Sesshoumaru responded. “It was my own conclusion.”

  
  


Her heart sank even further. “You think I should stay here, too?”

  
  


“I think you belong with your own kind. You can’t deny your own nature and eventually you’ll need things you can only get from other humans. I thought that once you’d lived here long enough, you’d see that. You’d re-adjust yourself and the understanding would come...that this is your rightful world.”

  
  


He’d never seemed colder to her than he did then. Outside in the cold, creeping night. Maybe this was what Jaken had been trying to warn her about.

  
  


Her humanness. Her _ordinariness_. The fundamental simplicity of _being Rin_ that made her someone even Sesshoumaru-sama viewed as not destined for anything other than the life of an unambitious, facile peasant.

  
  


If only she’d been born a yokai. If only she’d born a princess. If only she’d been older when they met; they wouldn’t have dumped her in that village to learn things she already would’ve known; to make a choice she could’ve already been trusted to make.

  
  


_Come on, Rin_ , she thought to herself, _you know by now that life isn’t fair_. _Everything Sesshoumaru-sama has done for you and you’re still asking for more?_

  
  


_You don’t kneel in the dirt. You show your lord’s gifts the proper respect._

  
  


“You’ll still come to visit Rin?” She said in a quiet voice.

  
  


“Of course,” came Sesshoumaru’s reply.

  
  


Rin wondered how she would endure his absences now. Knowing the day she’d patiently waited for would never come. Perhaps, at least, his visits might become more frequent. One time he’d left and she hadn’t seen him again for a year.

  
  


She suddenly became angry about that. He had supposedly been giving her space, forcing her to become accustomed to life without him. Why come around so infrequently if he never had any intention of letting her travel with him again? Her mind went through a list of all the things she might’ve indulged in if she thought her future life choices weren’t being conditioned on good behavior; stealing produce from the nearby farms, kissing the older village boy’s who eyed her seductively as she ran her morning errands, throttling the blacksmith’s wife for the nasty things she would about her behind her back, running away to the north and gaining a reputation as a fabled mountain witch.

  
  


But, _no_. Rin had to prove she was _socialized_ , that she could get along with her own kind. That she _could_ return to life as the semi-feral charge of a nomadic daiyokai, but she didn’t _have_ to.

  
  


A faint pounding began in her ears. “Do you hear that?” She asked Sesshoumaru. She could hear it in the distance. “It sounds like my drum.”

  
  


“All day.”

  
  


It was a thumping, repetitive rhythm. No small _shime-daiko_ , but a _Taiko_ ; a war drum. Somewhere close by, men were going off to battle, every exerted breath visible in the frosty night. For the first time, Rin wondered if what Kaede didn’t like about her drum wasn’t the sound itself but what it reminded her of. If even the sound of a gentle shime-daiko conjured images of violence.

  
  


Was it violence Kaede had heard in Rin’s song? In her innocent longing for her lord? Was that why she’d ascribed it an unwholesome nature?

  
  


She stayed up on the roof with Sesshoumaru for a long time, loath for him to decide it was finally time to leave. Kaede-sama eventually exited the house to inform Rin of the late hour and remind her of her morning obligations. Rin suspected the older woman had left them for much longer than she otherwise would have.

  
  


“Will you come visit me again soon?” It was a question she didn’t typically ask him.

  
  


“When would you like to see me again?”

  
  


Tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that.

  
  


“Whenever you have the time,” she answered.

  
  


Sesshoumaru rose to his feet and, to her surprise, stretched out a hand to her. Rin took it, savoring the touch of his skin, smooth and warm, as he helped her up. Then he put his hands around her waist and before she could process _that_ , jumped from the roof. They landed and she reluctantly allowed him to let her go. Kaede went back into the house and Rin began to follow. She paused, however, and turned back to her lord.

  
  


“Nee, Sesshoumaru-sama.” The daiyokai regarded her and she could tell he noticed the pained expression on her face.

  
  


“I know—” She paused to collect herself and figure out how to put into words what she wanted to say to him.

  
  


“I know you don’t have any reason to want to take me with you. I’d only be a burden; I understand that. I’m not a little girl anymore, I understand now why you did what you did. Even if I needed you once it doesn’t mean it has to be that way for the rest of my life. You shouldn’t have to feel obligated to have some girl who can’t even defend herself following you around.”

  
  


Rin stopped to catch her breath as Sesshoumaru patiently waited for her to continue. She should have taken the time to rehearse her speech, figure out exactly what she wanted to say and waited until he came to visit her again. Instead, she was making a rambling fool of herself and talking in circles.

  
  


“I know when you left me here, when you promised I could come back with you again one day—I know you said that because it was the only way you could get me to stay. I was a child; I was upset and I was being unreasonable and you...you said what you had to say.”

  
  


Jaken, rather mercifully for her, took that moment to interject before Rin could babble on any further.

  
  


“Quite right, Rin!” He said, holding out his staff for emphasis. “I remember that day—How could I not! The spectacle you made of yourself!” The little yokai crossed his arms and held his head up, imperiously. “You’re lucky Sesshoumaru-sama didn’t merely abandon you on the spot; displaying such undignified, ungrateful behavior in his presence—”

  
  


A boot slid behind Jaken’s ankle and there was a thump as he fell backward to the ground.

  
  


“Jaken,” Sesshoumaru hissed. “Shut up.”

  
  


He looked back to the woman standing in front of him. “Rin—” he started.

  
  


She shook her head. “Please, allow me to finish. I’m not…” She bit her lip. “I’m not going to hold you to a promise you made to a bratty child who needed to be placated. I’m...releasing you, I guess.” Rin bowed, awkwardly, like she was sealing a deal they had just made. That the old obligations would be forgotten and their relationship could start anew, in whatever form he so desired.

  
  


Sesshoumaru seemed to glow in the moonlight. “Rin,” he said, “we’ll meet again.”

  
  


He turned away. “Jaken.”

  
  


The green yokai leapt back up from the ground. “Sesshoumaru-sama!”

  
  


“Let’s go.”

  
  


“Hai!”

  
  


Jaken attached himself to the tail end of his lord’s fur as Sesshoumaru took off in the air, not looking back at his former charge. Rin stood watching as he flew away and turned back only once he had disappeared from sight completely.


End file.
